Tuesday, September 29, 2009

best friends means..

remember reaching the depths of sadness

the constant state of breathlessness

endless struggles and feeling so alone and unworthy.

well...you've overcome before.

and you'll get through this too <3

new music <3

Just wanted to plug these guys.
I know a few of the guy from the band and they're beautiful people. I've been eagerly awaiting what they've come up with so here's a preview.
check out Alibrandi.


Monday, September 28, 2009

disappointment made its home

when somethings too good to be true.. it usually is.

unscramble me now that all is revealed
..at least she and I will talk it out over drinks.
she's complicated. but with nothing to hide. <3
people. take note.

if only...

Friday, September 25, 2009

much love

I've always said Kurt Halsey was the artist that drew my life.

His work is innocently simple but the emotions evoked and his haunting one liners are unlike anything i've seen anyone do.

When i see his work, i'm blissfully happy. so enjoy a moment of beauty and embrace <3

Monday, September 21, 2009


our old suitcase ran its course and was locked away.
no more was it carried around but the key remained.

thought of.
and its content missed.

This heart aches for you...


It will be the death of me.

Thursday, September 17, 2009


"and suddenly things got a little bit complicated... but i have a feeling it's going to be worth it"

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

love letter

One of the most beautiful things ever written about us.
so much love ... cannot express <3

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

the simple run

confusion is the most disturbing of human emotions.
the lies that flood my world create my disarray
...and people wonder why I hate dishonesty so much

They will continue to perplex my every waking moment until I breathe my last.
guilt continues to override my happiness and every moment of joy I feel.
and the lack of sanity I find in others makes me judge my own.

Within myself I am easy to love...
but the past I come from and the choices I made, and the choices others forced upon me makes me unlovable.

Whenever there's nothing left to fight for, something beautiful appears
but my life is one of complication.
more complexities haunt my world than you could ever imagine or understand.
My reality is blurred with guilt and misconceptions and lately a form of happiness that I find way
too confusing to understand.

You light my life, but there's much more running circles in my mind than the eye can see.
Blood Brothers write, "love rhymes with a hideous car wreck"
and Joy Division dictate that, "love will tear us apart".
Love is the most wonderful and powerful of human emotions but it's also the most terrifying and destructive.
Do we run?
Do we embrace?
and who wears the crown of the strong one for either choice?

as my body and the scriptures dictate, "love one another",
and that's what I attempt to fulfill
but it doesn't mean I'm not terrified in the process.
and it's not just terrifying...
it literally stops my lungs from working and my heart from beating to the point where I actually feel I cannot handle any more pain.
I'm cold. I'm lost. I'm done.

But what is life without love?
and what is my world without you...

girl crush

Grace Small <3
photos - Viktor Vauthier (who is also worth checking out )


"he cooked me food and watched spiceworld on video with me.... moments don't get much better"

Monday, September 14, 2009

Thursday, September 10, 2009

They were onto something

"The devil and god are raging inside of me"

.....the trickster moved into the neighbourhood
but they'll take him away soon.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

a great decision.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind


daily fix


and this is why i'll always love a.wang <3

Monday, September 7, 2009


So this is the part where I no longer recognise where I end and you begin.
Whether my heart stands alone, or if it's dragging behind the baggage.
If the possiblity exists.. that you might love me as much as much as I love you.
and if the world was to crash and burn tomorrow
...would I be lost forever in your heart?

no words can express

my mind is racing.
my heart is sore.

for something to live, another dies

....and all I do is sleep these days.

Friday, September 4, 2009


"Here is the deepest secret nobody knows.
Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide.
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart...
I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart."

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

in a perfect world

we hunt

"I can tell you want some company,
but I can't fix you
and you don't want me"

oh how you run from me

I find myself running frantically through this world.
like I'm standing in the middle of a thousand people and it all just passes me by.
and I convince myself that I despise them for their stupidity and simplicity, but inside, I secretly envy them.

They've seemingly found the secret of happiness.
and they're satisfied with their boring silly little lives.

Aristotle famously declared, "happiness depends upon ourselves", and I've thought about this often.
I don't know anymore whether I sabotage my own happiness or if the world around me does.
I'm resigned to the fact that happiness evades me and that every decision I make is in some way wrong and will not lead me to the desired result.

Why am I so scared?
so alone.
falling short.

an absolute

sometimes we're lost.
but get back up and fight or the war is over

...and we're lost forever.

just lovelies

why does it take such violence to bring this heart to life...
...and stop lingering in my mind each day.