Thursday, June 4, 2009
The breakdown of families has left an entire generation of needy, self destructive, attention-seeking people.
There is no definition of oneself anymore.
We're merely.... the fucked up kids.
And as each day ends and the new one begins you slowly realise more and more, the effect of our messed up childhoods.
As i look at my life and the lives of others and see the revolving doors filled with confusion and self destruction and such inability to lead respectable lives i wonder.. why i do the things i do?
why do they do the things they do?
The majority of our generation has come from dysfunctional homes that left us with a longing for self worth which most people seek from any avenue possible.
Even with the people that you think have it all together, and seem so narcissistic - you realise, at the end of the day, they're just looking for reassurance like everybody else, just in different ways and perhaps not so obvious as others.
Inability to commit, love unconditionally or stay in one place for prolonged periods of time all point to the search for worthiness.
even subconsciously; the desire to be worth something to anyone really.
And all i'm left with is the underlying anger that dwells deep in my soul at every parent and every person that ever had responsibility over the life of a child and blatently fucked it up.
That affects me and my life now.
It affects the people i love and their lives.
It affects my entire generation.
the optimist inside of me hopes to be the change one day. but optimism died along with the child that once was.
I'm left with the pessimistic reality that tells me it's only going to get worse and it cannot be changed.
this generation cannot be redeemed and the cycle will not end.
We'll all wake up one day and wonder what happened to us?
what happened to love, hope, truth and self confidence.
The fire that destroyed our homes will ravish our hearts to the point where we can no longer be the change and the cycle begins again.
what once shone bright has become dull and almost impossible to find.
and our comfort is now despair which inevitably ruins us.
what once lived, has died....